☀️ Why You Should Consider a Life Dedicated to Service

When I was in my mid-twenties, I would use to say this to myself:

"I want to be a modern billionaire. And that means that one day I would like to wake up in the morning and be able to say that I have positively impacted the lives of a billion people"

To me, that was the loftiest, and most altruistic goal I can think of.

It's also one of the core reasons that drew me to work in tech; to be a Product Manager for all those years.

I wanted to be part of companies, products, and teams that genuinely solve problems that improve lives for the better, at a scope and scale that can get me closer to that goal of a billion.

But it took me a long time, being fired, and taking a few steps back to look clearly at the situation and realize a harsh truth:

That although it came from a good intention, my desire to help a billion people was selfish and completely fueled by my ego.

By my childish desires to want to be seen, respected, and admired as a successful and good person in the world.

It's as if by doing that, I will finally feel like my existence in this world and my core being is justified.

It reminded me of something Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI, said about Elon Musk:

"Elon desperately wants the world to be saved. But only if he can be the one to save it."

When I started my first business doing 1-on-1 no-code coaching with founders in 2021, that’s when I had a huge shift in perspective.

I was working with just one client in September and I worked with her every day to help her turn her ideas into digital products.

And I remember how fulfilling it was to help her navigate through these hurdles and see the joy on her face when she had figured out something.

I felt my heart brimming with warmth, pride, and deep satisfaction that I had added value, even if it was to just one person.

When we finished coaching, she even wrote a handwritten letter to thank me, and I still have it pinned right in front of my workspace to this day.

I learned an important truth on that day: one of the keys to living a fulfilling life is to live a life of service.

A life of service refers to a way of living that prioritizes helping, supporting, and contributing to the well-being of others and the community as a whole over personal gain or self-interest.

Here are the 4 biggest misconceptions I've learned about living a life of service:

1) It has to wait until X or Y happens

We often tell ourselves that we need to wait until we are further in our career, more financially stable, and have taken care of all of our, our partner's, and our family's needs before we can live a life in service of others.

Here are the most common versions I'll hear:

• "When I make more money, then I'll be able to give more money to charity."

• "When I get a promotion or have a job where I have more power and status, then I will be able to have the power to serve the community."

• "When I'm older and have more time, then I will have more bandwidth to help others."

All of these realities are valid because that's often how the world makes us feel, that we are always lacking.

And because we feel like we are lacking and in survival mode rather than feeling abundant, we tend to close off and be protective of our time and resources.

But in this process, we rob ourselves of experiencing the inexplicable deep qualities of a life of living beyond ourselves.

Question to ask yourself:

What is one thing you are telling yourself that you need to wait on before you can serve others?

2) It is about self-sacrifice

This one is especially for all the "Pleasers" out there who already have a strong tendency to put others above yourself.

Living a life of service is not about self-sacrifice, but rather about aligning with a more expansive view of self that includes serving the greater good.

And it's crucial to understand that to do this, you need to learn to give to yourself first.

You need to give to yourself:

• Unconditional love

• Acceptance

• Patience

• Permission to just be

• Space to heal

As an Asian man who grew up in Taiwan for the first 18 years of my life, I was deeply shaped by Confucian views around collectivism.

This meant that unconsciously, I was always putting the collective over myself. I would often think about the needs, wants, and expectations of my family and extended family over my own needs.

A year of couples therapy taught me that the most radical way to re-frame this view is to realize that the BEST thing we can do for the collective is to focus on the self first.

By being honest, and giving ourselves what it needs, we are no longer suppressing our needs.

And when we choose to serve others and the collective, we are no longer doing it from a place of self-sacrifice and self-neglect, but a genuine desire to serve.

And it is from this place we can also fully tap into the abundance.

Question to ask yourself:

What is something you need to give to yourself first before you can start serving others?

3) It has to look a certain way

There is a reason why becoming a doctor is the stereotypical, quintessential poster child of a career that immigrant parents want us to have.

It's because it checks the trifecta of what supposedly leads to a fulfilling life:

• Prestige

• High Salary

• Job Security

But what is often buried beneath the surface of what makes being a doctor such an incredible and respectable profession is how it also can embody living a life of service.

Doctors that I've spoken to who are patient, warm, and kind often talk about how joyful it feels to be able to be in a position to help others.

But you do not need to be a doctor to live a life of service.

Living a life of service doesn't have to look one single way.

In fact with the modern world comes modern problems, and it's up to you to figure out what creative ways you can combine your unique experience, domain expertise, and skillsets to how you can live a life of service.

Question to ask yourself:

What does living a life of service look like to you? And are there limiting beliefs there that are making it harder for you to integrate them into your own life?

4) You can't build wealth with it

There's a common misconception of believing that it is an "either…or" scenario when it comes to building wealth and living a life of service:

EITHER you find a path or career where you can live a life of service OR you find one where you can build wealth with it.

A lot of us were taught at a young age that there is a separation between the two: helping others and building a sustainable life where you have financial freedom.

The problem from the very beginning was that we were convinced that it was not possible to combine the two.

Some might say that it's "unrealistic", but I have learned from my own experience and talking to individuals that have inspired me that it is often just not straightforward.

It may require some risk to leap, courage to experiment, and curiosity to explore, but the output may be having the kind of life that brings you deep fulfillment, enjoyment, and peace.

Isn't that worth figuring out?

Question to ask yourself:

If you believe that you can build wealth and live a life of service, what would you do?

☀️ How can I help?

If you enjoyed reading this week’s issue, I ask you to do one of two things:

1. Share it with someone else who will find it valuable.

2. Schedule a call with me to discuss whether coaching could be another way to help you on your journey of figuring out your next step and finding your purpose.

And that's it for now! ✨

Thank you for reading this edition all the way to the end. I appreciate you 🙏

Thanks for being part of this journey.

Hope to see you in the next issue!