☀️ How To Find Your Purpose

The word “purpose” carries a lot of weight.

The Japanese call it ikigai.
The french calls it raison d'etre.
I always just call it the Big P.

The first time I danced with the Big P was in 2012 after I had just come back from my college career fair.

I was still wearing my suit but had taken off my suit pants and was sitting on my foldable IKEA sofa bed feeling extremely depleted.

I remember thinking to myself: "None of these jobs even sound remotely interesting to me. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t know what my Big P is!"

Ever since that moment, I would occasionally be back in that similar state of mind, and it was always after going through a crossroads or transition in my life.

And even though I knew there was value in examining what the Big P was, it was always such an excruciating painful, lonely, and dread-inducing experience.

The question itself feels so colossal and important, that I always felt like I owe it to me to have an eloquent, succinct, and sophisticated answer to it.

I fantasize myself asking my brain about the Big P, like prompting ChatGPT, and having it spit out an answer like “42”, just like the supercomputer did in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy when asked "the Ultimate Question of Life, Universe, and Everything.”

Today as I'm typing this newsletter, is the first time ever I have finally stopped pondering about the Big P.

Here are 3 steps to help you find your purpose:

1) Reframe what “purpose” means to you

Finding your purpose was never meant to be a singular answer that quells all the confusion and discomfort we have in life.

We crave to have this singular answer because our human minds are incredibly averse to uncertainty and ambiguity.

I realize it’s not romantic or poetic to declare a life purpose so much as my ego wants to numb the confusing mess of being a human.

That’s when I realized this truth: purpose is a moment-to-moment listening.

To live in alignment with one’s purpose isn’t picking one identity, craft, skillset, or industry and being attached to it, but rather being with each moment fully, authentically, and with surrender.

Once I realized that, I knew it was never about discovering the Big P but rather about exploring and enjoying the journey of connecting and weaving in and out of all these beautiful small Ps.

The reframing shifts the spotlight from focusing on the grand why to focus instead on the moment and the present right in front of us.

So instead of asking yourself: “What is the purpose in life?”

Try asking this question instead: “What brings me alive at this point in my life?”

2) Listen to what your soul is telling you

If it wasn’t for the pandemic, which forced me to be isolated, unemployed, and lonely, then I wouldn’t have even known what “listening” truly meant.

I realized that there is always so much power, wisdom, and intuition that is buried deeply within all of us.

And it has always been with us, ever since we were born, to all the years we were in school, and then to our years of adulthood, and it has always been waiting for us to uncover it.

It has always been trying to communicate with us, either through “gut feelings” or whispers, but there are also ways where we can amplify the voice so we can hear it more clearly.

Here are two tools/frameworks I utilize:

a) Be with the breath

As someone who meditates daily and has been doing it every day for the past 1,125 days, this daily practice is how I tune into myself each day.

And what’s behind the meditation practice is just simply being with the breath over and over again, and savoring it fully the hundredth, thousandth, or even the millionth time.

Sometimes the idea of meditating can feel daunting or intimidating

If you are just starting, just focus on being with the breath whatever that means to you.

Just 5 times, 20 times, or even 2 minutes each day, and notice how it feels to you.

Vitality and magic are waiting for you in your breath. And you can also only find it if you are not looking for it or be attached to the outcome of finding it.

Approach it with curiosity and joy, like a student would, and have fun with it.

b) Be with the body

When is the last time you tune into the body?

Most of us, including me, spend more time paying attention to our minds than our bodies.

Our minds help us complete the tasks we need to do each day so we can feel productive and accomplished.

Our minds even help us process the books we read, the music we listen to, and that Netflix show we’re binging.

But there is also so much wisdom being stored in our bodies, waiting for us to drop into it.

This is especially true for the emotions we don’t usually carve out space and time for, and they often get pushed down and stored in our bodies.

And the only way to unlock them is to just be in it.

Just notice and be with whatever shows up.

Try telling yourself this: Any sensations, feelings, and emotions that arise are all welcome. Because I know they are all trying to tell me something really important.

3) Leap into it

Once you reframed what finding one’s purpose means to you, you listened to what your soul is telling you

What’s left is finally riding the self-belief and courage you’ve unearthed to leap into action.

This will look different for everyone.

You may decide to:

• ask for a promotion

• get a new job

• move to a new city

• go back to school

• switch careers

• start therapy

• get a coach

• take a break

• start a new hobby

• start a business

• travel the world

• or even stay at exactly where you are

It is all okay.

There are no right and wrong choices because, at the end of the day, only you and your inner self know what you need to do at this moment.

And the beautiful part is reminding yourself is that you are simply breathing life into a new small p.

And if you encounter a crossroad again, you can always return to the drawing board to repeat steps #2 & #3.

If you can surrender to this process, to this river of life that keeps flowing, then you will always be living with and within your purpose.

☀️ How can I help?

If you enjoyed reading this week’s issue, I ask you to do one of two things:

1. Share it with someone else who will find it valuable.

2. Schedule a call with me to discuss whether coaching could be another way to help you on your journey of figuring out your next step and finding your purpose.

And that's it for now! ✨

Thank you for reading this edition all the way to the end. I appreciate you 🙏

Thanks for being part of this journey.

Hope to see you in the next issue!