☀️ What's The Point of Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone?

Last week I performed spoken word at a talent show for adults. (You can also read it here)

And it is one of the proudest things I've done all year.

Before this, I had never done anything like it in the slightest.

Sure, I've played and performed musical instruments on the stage before (the violin & the trumpet to be exact).

And I've given presentations, workshops, pitches, and speeches of all kinds of variety.

But never have I voluntarily been on a stage to pour my heart out in such a poetic fashion, especially as an adult.

When I was walking off into the crowd after my performance, I had a handful of people shake my hand, give me high-fives, and even hugs, but throughout that whole time, I was in an absolute daze.

I was in a daze because I was honestly lost for words.

I tried to focus on the energetically invisible things that were happening beneath the surface and in my body to try to process all the feels

And I could feel how that experience poured into me in even ways I cannot understand yet.

And it made me think of this question: Why do we choose to do or not do the things that get us out of our comfort zone? What's the point of it?

Here are 2 reasons I believe why getting out of your comfort zone can help you lead a better life:

1. You can retrain the way you speak and interact with your nervous system

While waiting for my turn to perform, I could feel some tightness in the middle of my body that I hadn't experienced in a long time.

It was different from the nervousness that I had felt in the past few years. This one was more visceral and more uncomfortable.

I felt like I could feel my the full extent of my NERVES.

And it did bring me back to all the moments when I was younger when I felt a similar sensation.

In the past, maybe because of the influences of my music teachers or sport coaches, I would often talk to myself in a very disciplinary, masculine, and stern-like way.

I would often say to myself: "Stop being nervous. There's nothing to be nervous about. Just toughen up. Get going."

And I would somehow find a way to push that feeling down and deep into my body to deal with whatever was happening.

But as an adult, and as a mindset coach with a better understanding of an array of tools that I can lean on, I knew that I could take a different approach.

This time, I gently scanned my body, noticed the textures and shapes of the feelings in my body, and instead of pushing it away, I did these 3 things:

1. I acknowledge it fully with curiosity, love, and compassion, and I said to it: "I recognize that you are there and have been around to protect me in the past. Thank you so much, but right now I don't need you and I am inviting you to pass through me and over me."

2. I found the parts of me, especially the inner child in me, that were the sources of feeling that nervousness and I just gently remind him that he is safe, in an environment where he won't be harmed, and that I got his back.

3. I gave myself a small self-hug to remind myself through physical touch that I'm loved, even if my performance and expressions of myself get rejected

And as a result, not only was I able to do something I’ve been wanting to do since I moved to New York 11 years ago, I could also feel the younger parts of me feeling safer than ever.

And all of us are ready for the next challenge.

2. You can relearn how to do uncomfortable things for intrinsic and not external rewards

I’ve been pushing myself out of my comfort zone all my life

But I realize that I wasn’t always intentional about it.

Sometimes I would do things just for the sake of it, just to see if I could

And in the past, whenever I was on stage for some kind of performance or showcase, I always did it mainly for some kind of external validation.

It was always to get some kind of praise, affection, or applause from an authority figure, my classmates, colleagues, or strangers just to make myself feel better and worthy.

As a kid, I was always craving for attention, acceptance, and love.

But as an adult who has learned to give myself those things, the most powerful realization is that I no longer needed to perform to receive those things.

Instead, I knew that I could use this opportunity and this arena to redefine what it meant for me to perform.

The talent show gave me the perfect opportunity to do something fully to make all parts of myself proud, regardless of the outcome, and that's all that matters.

And that’s why doing uncomfortable things as an adult can be such crucial piece to one’s transformation journey.

So what is something you have always wanted to do that is out of your comfort zone? How can you take one baby step to get started?

Here is my full poem:

If you’e read this all the way to the end, thank you for being here . I appreciate you. Have a wonderful day ❤️